You've got to love New York City...

July 20th 2008 – 8:52pm express train
Stamford, CT to Grand Central Station, NYC

The following story is 100% true and factual and happened to me tonight…

I spent the weekend with my parents on their boat in a very nice, and quaint, village harbor in Noank, CT. We had a relaxing weekend of basking in the sun, enjoying cold beverages and eating great food. As the weekend came to a close, we left the marina and my parents dropped me off at the train station in Stamford, CT which is about a 45-minute ride into Grand Central Station. I’ve ridden on this train several times and this was, without question, the most crowded train I’ve been on yet. Imagine a can of packed sardines…now picture the same thing with people. Standing room only turned into barely-any-breathing-room only. It was REALLY crowded.

I decided to stand in the main area, where the train doors open, since this was the least-crowded area of the train. There were about 6-10 people around me. In particular, there were two high school girls next to me who spent most of the ride text messaging their friends.

About 20 minutes of silence and checking emails on my blackberry had gone by. As I stood there, realizing the drastic difference that sitting on the back of a boat with a light beer has in comparison to a smelly, hot, crowded, train, I hear the conductor come over the loud speaker announcing our first stop in the Bronx, NY. This particular train was an “express” train which means it only stops once before its final destination (and my official stop) in Grand Central Terminal. The train pulled to a stop and the double doors opened. Slowly departing the train in a parallel line of two people, passengers started to get off. It was then that I noticed something VERY strange started to happen. Like the parting of the Red Sea, as the passengers got off the train, each side of people JUMPED to the left and right and simultaneously yelled “AGHGH!!” Confused, I looked straight ahead of me as to what the problem could possibly be.

That is when I looked down at the train platform and noticed what was running towards the train… I say “running” because that is exactly what the RAT was doing! There, on the 194th street station platform in the Bronx, a genuine New York City RAT was running straight towards the open train doors…and straight towards where I was standing on the train. Now, I’ve seen a RAT on more than one occasion in NYC before; some much larger than others. This particular RAT was not one of the larger ones I’ve seen, having only been about 6 inches in length with a 3-4 inch tail (I’ve seen some that look like small cats). However, what this RAT lacked in overall size in comparison to his NYC brethren, he made up for in spirit.

Just when I thought that it couldn’t possibly get any better, the RAT decided it was time to play the role of “Evil Kneivel, the Wonder-RAT!” Setting the stage, the distance in-between the station platform and the actual train itself is approximately 12 inches. A modest distance for any person to simply step over, yet a grand-canyon-like leap for any small rodent. The RAT made the approach and left the platform at the perfect spot, reminding me of a long jumper in the Olympics. He landed inside the train with a foot to spare. This is when the real drama occurred…

The first thing I noticed, besides the screams of people trying to maneuver away from the rodent in the sardine-can of a train and the fact that we were now dealing with a RAT that belonged in the Olympics, was the two young high schoolers next to me who decided to jump, literally, on top of me. The RAT entered the train and, spooked by all the commotion, didn’t know which way to go. So, he decided to run up and down the isle of the train. In and out of people’s legs, over bags that were on the ground, up and down, back and forth. People were screaming, jumping on top of their seats and pressing the call-button in the hopes that the train’s conductor would not close the train doors and leave the station.

It was too late.

The doors shut behind us, and we are now on a 25 minute train ride with Mr. Wonder-RAT. One woman had a dog that was going crazy and another had a pet-carrier with a cat inside…One woman yelled out, “Ma’am, please let your cat out so it will kill the rat!!” The woman replied, “what are you, crazy!? I’m not letting my cat out to kill that thing!!” Up and down, back and forth, left and right the RAT went…and, like the wave at a professional baseball game, the row of passengers went from sitting on their seats to standing on them.

There were no attacks, no bites, no major injuries and no trauma caused to any of the passengers, however, I couldn’t stop thinking to myself… “If only the world could have seen this entire episode, the image of ‘Tough-New-Yorkers’ would go down the toilet in about 2 seconds.”

I rarely have the luxury of being part of stories like this but, since I witnessed the driver of my cab get in a fist fight with another cab driver at a red light within the first month of me living in New York City, I can’t help but keep track of these episodes as they arise.

A fun-filled weekend, a drama-filled train ride, and a RAT that moved from the Bronx to New York City without paying for a ticket…

You’ve got to love New York City…